Today I will watch the Super Bowl, along with millions of Americans.  My heart will be aching because the Green Bay Packers won’t be one of the teams playing. 

I have watched my team play a nearly spotless regular season—playing the best season the team has ever played and breaking team records one right after the other, but it didn’t matter what they did during this season—what mattered was what they did during that last playoff game.  And what they did was blow it.  They lost considerably, handing the game to the Giants on a giant platter.  I cried, ... yes, I cried.  There may not be crying in baseball, but along with Clay Matthews, I can attest that there is crying in football. 

Could it be that all we do is for naught if we blow it in the end?  Look at Secretary Clinton.  Much of her life has been geared towards presidency, and now that she has announced that she will  “take some time off from politics”... has she blown it?  If we go to school and work for years gaining experience and the finality of it all never culminates ... have we blown it?  And if we parent our children the best that we know and they do not turn out to be the people we had hoped they would be ... have we blown it? 

I think, as parents, our children’s futures are the guiding force that drives us.  Their health, happiness, success and character are fundamental elements that we foster day in and day out.  We buy organic, cook fresh, avoid nitrites and food colors, clean without chemicals, avoid toxins, teach them to read and write, read to them at night, vaccinate, don’t vaccinate, show them the world, expose them to cultural and artistic experiences, engage them in multitudes of activities to “expand their world,”,play classical and jazz music, send them to the best schools, reserve college funds, keep them safe, inspect their Halloween candy, and the list is endless. 

Both working and stay-at-home parents have fought for the recognition of their value, and regardless of which camp you fall into, your worth is truly priceless.  But will we feel bankrupt if our children don’t “succeed” in the end?  How will we define that value?  If our child is a kind, worldly anorexic…will we have failed? 

If he is a world-renowned physician who uses his own narcotics…will we have failed?  If she is intelligent, artistic and unemployed…will we have failed?  I wonder if my father truly feels proud, as he claims, or if he has some disappointment that lies in the cogs of his gray matter that I am not the physician I once set out to be.  Does he feel that the tens of thousands he invested in me resulted in a junk bond?  Regardless of all the “parent ed” we digest, will we, as parents, consider success differently than our own?

I know that our success doesn’t lie in the labels we hold (doctor, parent, volunteer), but it is impossible to separate all that we have worked for from the person that we are.  Or is it?  Is that the challenge then?  To teach our children that there is something deeper to them than the labels they and others attach to them.  That as they move through life from role to role, they understand that they are part of something greater and that those roles are only extensions of themselves, not what makes them who they are.  And that moving through life as honestly as they can is the greatest Superbowl win they could ever accomplish.